


you're not allowed to mourn the dead

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1920s, Gangsters, Great Depression, Multi, Veterans, kind of, nyc because i am too lazy to research places, um i don't really know what to say i apologize i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-19
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-13 01:57:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1208554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone's been hit hard after the Depression. Some more than most. But others find a way to deal with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're not allowed to mourn the dead

“I shall laugh the worst laugh I ever laughed.  
I’m cursed. God, if I don’t believe I’m cursed.”

-Home Burial, Robert Frost

 

 June, 1955

                The scraping sound of the café chair made a sharp contrast against the cheerful babble of the outdoors, interrupting the rare calm of a Brooklyn street.

                “Here we are again.” Hanji smiled as she sat down on the chair and folded her arms on the glass table. A large umbrella placed above their heads fluttered against the wind in the summer air. It made a pleasant sort of _fwip fwip_ that added to the happy atmosphere.

                Erwin took his pipe out of his mouth, smoke curling from its ornate bowl. “It’s been a long time, Hanji.” He chuckled gently, reaching over to push up her glasses. It was an unusual gesture by normal standards, but for them it had been so commonplace. She realized just how much time had passed since they had been able to have an easy conversation, no danger, no imminent threat. She realized just how much she missed it.

                “How’s everything been? I trust you’ve been doing well,” she said, gesturing to his clean white shirt and expensive looking watch.

                “He got an office job. They wanted him for some high level stuff, some shit at Wall Street. He’s been pigging out since he took it up, the bastard,” Levi said, and he punched Erwin’s forearm lightly.

                “I gave up cigarettes.”

                “A pipe, that’s much better. When you’re on your deathbed, coughing up smoke, at least you’ll be dignified.”

                “Well, I don’t know about _deathbed_. A little melodramatic for you, Levi, isn’t it?”

                “I’ll be as dramatic as I goddamn want to be.”

                A sort of warm feeling spread through Hanji as she listened to the two exchange remarks, in such a familiar way that it made her ache.

                No one brought up talk of the past. They didn’t need to, because it would haunt them long enough without them trying. They didn’t mention, as Erwin’s pipe smoke continued to blend in with the air, how Mike used to smoke cigarettes. She knew when Erwin gave them up. She knew why. They also didn’t mention the news, like so many café customers did. Shootings going on weren’t interesting. They were fucking terrifying. To those people, sitting with their legs crossed and their gazette held lightly and their coffees letting out tendrils of steam, those things happening in the news were just that. Happenings. Black and white photos printed flatly onto sheets of paper. But for them, they had been in color.

                “Has anyone watched anything interesting lately?” she inquired, crooking her glasses on the bridge of her nose. She knew better than to expect a proper answer, and sure enough, all she got were blank stares.

                “Has it really been that long, Hanji?” Levi deadpanned. “You’re the only one who can hold their attention to what’s in theaters nowadays.”  
                “Maybe it’s how I managed to get an actual job, Levi,” Hanji replied coolly. “Last I heard you were still bumming off Erwin.”

                “Alright, lay off, you two.” Erwin signaled to the waitress, a pretty young woman with her hair in the latest trend and a flouncy skirt covered by a spotless white apron. “I’ll have a Tom Collins, please.”

                “Sure you can hold your liquor this early, Erwin?” Hanji teased. “Just a coffee, milk, no sugar.”

                “And for you, sir?” the waitress asked Levi, who had sullenly been glaring at the surface of the table as if it offended him. Ah, but of course, he had always looked like that.

                “Black tea for me.”

 

 

September, 1928

                “Pass me the ball, damn it!” Hanji waved her hands wildly at Mike while her boots scuffed the tar splattered sidewalk. The corner of 9th Ave and 21st St was not the most bustling place, so it was suitable for a couple of scruffy kids to kick around a battered pigskin. Her trousers swished around her knees as she made a desperate maneuver for the ball, instead landing her nearly in the gutter. Thankfully, she managed to catch herself on her palms just in time.

                Mike laughed at her through his shaggy blonde hair. “Hanji, if you’re going to keep it up with that whiny attitude, they’ll never hire you.” He instead aimed his kick at Erwin, who rolled it with ease under his foot. Hanji examined her scratched up hands and wiped the blood off on the back of her pants.

                “What the hell, Mike, he’s on the other team,” Levi called, sounding pissed.

                Mike shrugged. “Whatever, kid. All I’m saying is that no factory will want to hire someone who has an annoying mouth.”

                “Don’t call me kid! You’re only two years older than us!”

                “My father says that he won’t make me sign up at a factory,” Hanji said, determined to challenge Mike.

                “Well, your father seems to think a bit more than mine,” Nanaba sighed. “He says the next time he catches me ditching school, he’ll ship me straight off to that waistcoat factory down on 14th.”

                “That’s ridiculous! How will you stay in school if you have to work?” Hanji asked quizzically.

                “Tell him that,” Levi muttered after jogging over to Erwin. “Give me the ball, Erwin. It’s ours fair and square.”

                “Nothing’s fair, Levi.” Erwin toyed with him for a while, weaving the ball around his legs until finally, Levi lost his patience and snatched it up with his hands.

                “Rules! That’s against the rules!” Mike yelled. In response, Levi flipped him the bird.

                “What’s against the rules is _passing the ball to the other team on purpose_ , Mike.” Hanji glared at him through her chipped glasses. “Anyways, we should actually talk about that. It’s kind of important, don’t you think? Really, what’s the point of shipping you off?” She looked over at Nanaba, sitting on the steps of the apartment building they were next to.

                Nanaba shrugged helplessly and shook her head, loosening her short blond hair from its cap. “Who knows.”

                “I would like to work in a factory,” Erwin announced.

                Levi paused in his tossing of the ball. It made a sad kind of _thump_ as it hit the ground and rolled away towards the incoming traffic. He lunged for it before it could get too far into the street.

                “You don’t know what you’re saying, Erwin,” Nanaba said, with a touch of bitterness.

                “I don’t know, it sounds a bit more interesting working in a factory than growing up to become the next head of one.”

                “ _Interesting_ is not always a good thing! It’s not the same as seeing adventures in comic books! _Interesting_ in real life is a lot less interesting. In fact, it’s downright dull.” Nanaba flopped back down on the dingy stoop of the building, spent after her quick rant. She was usually pretty quiet.

                Levi resumed rolling around the ball and watching it trail down the cracks of the sidewalk. “You’re a weird guy, Erwin.”

                Erwin furrowed his thick eyebrows. “Didn’t you already know that?”

                Hanji watched with some curiosity at the scene. Levi’s pale eyes searched Erwin’s unperturbed face for a moment before he responded, “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

                After a poignant pause, the silence was broken. “I think that’s enough for today.” Mike grabbed the ball from under Levi’s foot before he could protest. “I’m gonna head home, kiddos. It’s getting late.”

                “Stop calling us kiddos!” Levi screeched after him, but his back was already far down the street, silhouetted by the setting sun.

                Hanji went to join Nanaba on the stoop. “Join us!” she called to Levi and Erwin. Levi considered the dirty surface and chose to instead lean against the brick wall, folding his arms. Erwin, however, sat down heavily next to Hanji.

                “Hey.” She knocked his elbow with hers playfully.

                “Hey yourself.” He knocked hers back, smiling slightly. He was right, Hange thought. He was kind of an unsettling kid, who looked through people like they were made out of glass with those steely blue eyes. But, who was she to judge? The daughter of the madman tinkerer, who came from Germany. Germany was not a country to be trusted, as the Americans had learned.

                 Erwin himself was American, born and bred. As pure eagle bullshit as they come. But he’d never really quite fit the image. A well to do factory owner’s son with a widely known name was someone you would expect to turn his nose up at everything, instead choosing to spend his time with the other rich and pompous thirteen year olds. Like the ones who attended that boy’s private school in the Upper West Side, for example. However, Erwin Smith was far too strange for that. In lieu of that, he spent his time with four dirt poor kids on the dingy corner of a downtown city block, kicking around one of the rattiest leather balls to grace the Earth. Granted, he wasn’t half bad. He was a team by himself when they decided to play.

                Mike was a bit different. He was kind of in the standard situation for kids their age, their class. A twelve year old with the height of someone five years older, he lived with his mother in a small apartment over on 22nd, helping her out with managing the rent after his father had been killed in the Great War. He worked 6 days a week in the Stapleton Shoe Outlet and joined up with Hanji, Levi, Nanaba, and Erwin after his shift was over. His hair was reminiscent of a sheepdog, and his nose of a bloodhound.

                Nanaba was like his sister, almost. They lived basically right next to each other, and they were hardly seen without the other. They could have been twins, with nearly identical golden hair and relaxed dispositions. However, in Nanaba’s case, she had her father. Her mother had instead died of pneumonia a couple of years ago. Funny, Hanji mused, how they all had to have something lost to them.

                “So,” Hanji said into the still air. “Same time tomorrow?”

                “Okay, sure.” Nanaba leaned back against the steps, seemingly unruffled by all the manners of bird shit, old gum, and faded paint left behind on the rough stone. “I’ll remind Mike.”

                “What’s the point of doing this, anyway?” Levi mumbled. “Erwin’s just gonna end up all the way uptown, I’ll have to go, Mike barely has time anymore, and let’s face it, Nanaba’s father will probably make her go work, no matter what we say about it.”

                “That’s _enough_ ,” Erwin ordered Levi, standing up to face him. It would have been almost comical, the way Erwin towered over him by at least a foot. They snarled at each other for a few moments, acting like they were gearing up for a fight. Deep shadows were cast on their faces. It was now most definitely night; Hanji looked away from the scene to stare up at the sky. The stars weren’t visible. They never were, though.

                “It’s been a long day. Calm down, it wasn’t a big deal. Let’s just get home.” Nanaba interrupted the growing tension between Levi and Erwin with a soft murmur.

                Erwin loosened his grip on Levi’s button-down, and Levi wrenched his hand away from Erwin’s arm.

                “Fine.” Levi stalked off, and Erwin jogged to follow. They headed up 9th Ave, toward the 34th St Station to catch the train uptown.

                “What do you think is going on with them?” Hanji wondered aloud.

                “Who knows.” Nanaba cast after them a bored look, and then headed down the opposite side of the street. Streetlights glowed brightly along the sidewalk, illuminating the night. “See you, Hanji.”

                “’Night, Nanaba.” Hanji gave her a halfhearted wave. Once she was alone, she tossed back her head with a snort to look back up at the sky. She planted her hands back on the stoop and leaned onto her arms. The weather was getting colder, she noticed. Would Levi still stay with Erwin during the winter months? Hell, where else would he go? The boy was stuck on Erwin like gum on a shoe, no matter how much he bristled.

                “Hah!” Her shout echoed into the street. The little business the vendors usually got was quickly fading, and they were packing away their carts. Hanji could hear the voices that floated across the neighborhood- mothers calling in their children, last, hopeful calls for sales, and one particularly angry yell from a man admonishing his employee.

                Her father would be wondering where she was. Hanji gave the murky expanse above her head one last, long gaze, before hauling herself up and walking away from the desolate patch of sidewalk, lit by a single streetlight.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! ^.^ God, I churned this out in one night without sleep. I think I'll be continuing it soon enough. If you like it, let me know!  
> Oh, also, I do think of Hanji as nonbinary, but in this particular AU, I thought it was best to use female pronouns. I will try to portray that aspect of her, though!


End file.
